Paint and Pixels

Butt Dialing

You know what butt dialing is, right? It’s when you have a cell phone in your back pocket and then you sit on it and it dials a number. OK, so I have a question. If someone accidentally butt dials you, is it rude to ease drop on whatever is going on? Or is it your right to ease drop, since they were dialing irresponsibly anways- sortof like a sign from God giving you permission to ease drop.

While we were in Florida, my mom butt dialed me. I tried to get her attention, but she didn’t hear me screaming from her back pocket or purse or wherever her cell phone was (in this case, I was probably purse-dialed, but the term butt-dial still applies). When I couldn’t get her attention, I took advantage of the situation, and began to listen. Whatdoya know, I hear my own mother talking trash about me!!! Well, the trash wasn’t too dirty, or I wouldn’t be posting it on my blog. And, furthermore, I have already forgiven her, which is why I deem it OK to post this blog. However, she still doesn’t know that she butt dialed me... until now I assume.

This is what I heard:

“Naomi thinks that I always get WHATEVER I want! She says ‘Mom, you always get your way, and Dad doesn’t EVER get his way!!!’” When she imitated me she did it in a very loud, obnoxious, screechy voice. “Everyone thinks that Johnnie is just so sweet and never gets his way, but it’s only because he lets eeeeeeverybody know when he isn’t getting his way! Me, I just don’t complain at all, so they THINK I’m getting my way! And when I tell Naomi this she says ‘YEAH right MOM! Like what??!’ [awful screeching obnoxious voice again] and I say, ‘does anyone know that I like thin crust pizza? No! No one knows that because Dad ALWAYS gets his way and he DOESN’T like thin crust pizza. But do I ever complain about it? No. So no one knows I even like thin crust pizza! I love thin crust pizza, and I NEVER get it. But Naomi, she just doesn’t believe me. I hardly ever get my way……”

Eventually I did hang up. Later that day, as me, my mom, aunt and cousin were out and about, Aunt Carol asked “what do you guys suppose we should do for lunch?” Of course, I spoke up first and said “ya know, I was just thinking that we should go somewhere that has thin crust pizza”. I noticed a slightly suspicious look on my mother’s face. As other people suggested other things, I kept coming back to the thin crust pizza idea, which confused them, so finally I said, “you know, I was just thinking about my mom. I don’t think she hardly ever gets her way, and I am pretty sure she likes thin crust pizza… of course I am not sure of that, because she would NEVER complain about it! But I have a feeling she likes thin crust pizza, and it would be SO nice for her to have something SHE likes for a change.” Then my mom glared at me. We ended up going to a sandwich restaurant with no thin crust pizza, so as it turns out, I guess my mom WAS right... but I never heard her complain about it.