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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

More Skatepark:

Aaron was absent from the skate park last night, which left me in charge... hehehehe (that's an evil laugh). I love being in charge of young people who are easy to manipulate...

First I made them all go on the halfpipe at the same time, cause I thought it would make a cool picture. They informed me that that was "gay", but did it anyways:

And then the picture wasn't all that cool... so, I guess I made them do something "gay" for no good reason.

Then I had this idea, which would be way cooler in slow motion, and is somewhat dangerous, but, again, they did it anyways:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Rocket found his perfect halloween costume at Goodwill and then decided what Roxanne would be. I had to make her costume. Can you guess what Rocket is going to be?

I think Rocket needs to give me some roxy-pursuasion lessons... because trying to talk her into something is impossible for me, but seems to come pretty easy for him. Maybe if I was as awesome as he is, she would be more open to listening to my ideas. She wouldn't even pose the way I wanted her to for these pictures- she had her own "super hero" poses in mind- and they included NO smiling.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Number Two and Number Three- CHECK

When I said that I had two more paintings in addition to "Little Miss Religianity" to finish for the show on Saturday, I may have been a little unclear, judging by some of the comments people left. Although they will be in the same show together, the three paintings are unrelated. I have officially finished paintings number two and three, which I worked on simultaneously- when one painting made me angry, I switched to the other, and then back again.

Samone Samokes

I was actually lucky enough to have my own personal fabulous and beautiful model pose for me for this painting. However, I changed the model's name in the title of the painting in order to protect her identity. I am also relying on my painting skills to not be good enough for you to be able to recognize her. If you do recognize her, don't tell her, or I might get in trouble. Although I didn't originally intend for it, I think "Samone's" pose is very symbolic of how we have different sides to our identity, and how we allow some people to see one side and other people to see another (hence the anonymity). The smoke from the cigarette is supposed to form somewhat of a skull, but it didn't end up appearing as obvious as I had planned it to.

Cry Baby

The theme of the show on Saturday is "Monster Mash". Although the parties include a theme, the artwork does not neccessarily have to represent the theme. While I was working on my first painting, Chloe asked me what the theme was, and I told her it was "Monster Mash" but that the theme hadn't inspired anything for me. It must have been a particularly dramatic day as far as temper tantrums in our house, because then Chloe replied "Oh, you know what 'monster mash' reminds me of? Roxanne!" After some thought, I realized that she was right. When Roxanne has a temper tantrum, she is scarier than a monster, and sometimes resembles a monster herself- and as always, I can see some beauty in that! The painting doesn't really look like Roxanne, and perhaps I should have attempted to protect her identity, as I did with "Samone", but what can she do about it? She has made it very clear that she absolutely HATES this painting.

Now that these are out of the way, I have some costume work to do before the weekend....

Friday, October 24, 2008

Big Mama Red
Big Mama Red is the vuluptuous host of the burlesque shows that provide most of the models for Dr. Sketchy's. She is saucy, brazen, and cheeky. She pokes fun at some audience members and tantalizes others, all while appearing provocative and ultra sassy. I was thrilled when she asked me to create a portrait of her that would highlight all of her bold attitudes.
Tonight I went to her house to deliver her the painting. When she handed me the check, it wasn't signed by "Big Mama Red". It was signed by Tamara- who is holding the portrait below. Tamara isn't nearly as edgy as her alter ego, Big Mama. Her lips aren't quite as red either. But I still have a feeling Tamara has quite a bit of Big Mama bubbling below the surface. I hope she likes the painting.

I am kicking myself for forgetting to take a better picture of the painting before handing it off- this photo doesn't show the coloring of the painting very well at all.... but it's all I had.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Naomi's Top Ten Favorite Animals!!!!
Baby Crocodiles
Leafy Sea Dragon
Octopuses- particularly the Dumbo
Honorable mentions: The elephant shrew, seahorses, scuttlefish, bushbabies, liger and toucans

*I did not take these pictures, I stole them from googleimages.

Naomi's Top Ten Most UNfavorite Animals!!!
*There will be no pictures to accompany these ones




Animals that are pooping

Animals that are eating poop

Killer bees


Dead and rotting animals


Half dead animals

What is your most favorite animal? What is your most unfavorite animal?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Everybody's Doing It...

This is me back in 1960

Matt a few years later in 1964:

Rocket in 1970

And Roxy back in 1994- she's lovely no matter what year it is!

Go yearbook yourself too!

The Battle Continues...

Remember my crazy "McCain-is-perv" neighbor? That's Colleen. She lives directly across the street from me. Earlier this week she called me on the phone to tell me to look out my front window and see her new "beautiful lawn ornaments". When I peered out the front curtains, to my dismay, I not only saw the usual cookie cutter Highlands Ranch house I normally see, but now it also had two terrible eye sores adorning the lawn: two "Obama" signs faced directly at our house. At first I thought about getting my own "McCain is perfect" sign to combat her signage, but, I decided to take the high road.
Remember Miss. Heart? Boy, she has been acting extra sinister lately. Maybe she's gotten a little bit overcome by the Halloween spirit. I often find her sitting on our front porch looking terribly ornery and cantankerous (adjective: having a difficult and contrary disposition... try to use that word again this week). I was not wrong to be suspicious of her attitude because earlier today, I looked across the street and saw that Colleen's signs now looked like this:
and this:
How dare you, Miss. Heart!! I can't believe she would dare vandalize other people's property in such a tasteless way! I mean... I have to admitt, she was pretty clever about it all. Who knows, maybe I am being a little presumptuous to assume it was her... it could have been the Jewish neighbor next door... or some well intending yet confrontation Halloween spirit roaming the neighborhood... if I were Colleen, I would watch out.

UPDATE: Everyone who correctly uses the word "cantankerous" in their blog this week, will recieve a special prize from me!!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Little Miss Religianity

Today I finally finished the first of three paintings that I will be presenting at an art show on November 1st. I had better not spend as much time on my next two, or else they will certainly not be finished in time. As its title, Little Miss Religianity, reflects, this painting is the product of my reoccuring contemplations on the connection between spirituality and religion, and how those two elements make up Christianity. By "spirituality" I mean the purely non-physical aspect of Christianity and by "religion" I mean the tangible parts of the Christian culture, such as icons and rituals.

A couple weeks ago me and the kids visited my parents' church in the Springs. It is held in a beautiful down town church building with traditional stained glass windows and ornate architecture. Besides that, it is almost like we are members at that church just as much as our regular church in Denver, because when we come in, everyone always remembers our names and who we are, despite the fact that we usually haven't been there for a half year or so. As we were singing praise songs, Rocket and Roxanne began dancing in the aisle together. As we sang the words "Your glory fills the earth", the morning sunlight poured in through the stained glass windows with a warm amber glow and highlighted Roxanne's stringy hair and soft arms that pranced through the air. It was like something out of a dreamy music video. I began to notice how the sunlight was just like God's glory twinkling on everyone in the room- and on my own soul.

That was one example of how God (a purely spiritual being) can manifest himself in a physical way. Analogies like this can be found all over the place. Two physical analogies that point to the spiritual realm that the Bible specifically mentions are baptism and communion. But beyond that, people have come up with all different kinds of physical reminders of God- some that have become icons and some that have not. The Virgin Mary on the little girls dress is usually depicted in a Catholic context. I don't buy the Catholic doctrine concerning the mother of Jesus, however, I think the Catholic imagery of Mary is beautiful and has played a huge part in the history of art and Christianity. The cross is an obvious reminder of Jesus, although its prominence has made it more purely an icon in our culture today. Other than those two obvious religious objects, the painting is filled with other physical things that I consider religous because they can depict analogies of spirituality- the lighthearted joy of a child, lense flares that make you think God must of touched the lense of your camera, sweet food, a seemingly weightless bird, a bandaid that is covering a wound, and dandelions who's seeds will at any moment be floating along with the dust in the wind.

Monday, October 06, 2008

The Story of Matt and Naomi

Today marks the completion of seven years of marriage between Matt and me. I’ve heard that this mile marker can trigger the onset of “the seven year itch”. I haven’t felt any itchiness yet today, but perhaps that is just because Matt has been at work all day, and I won’t be able to verify that there is no itchiness until he gets home (with flowers in his hands). I thought it would be appropriate on this day to record the very first steps of our journey that has brought us to where we are today- those first magical moments of infatuation. Here we go…

Chapter One: He likes you

It was one of those warm Colorado evening where you can comfortably stay outside all night. I was 15 years old and actively seeking a hot boyfriend to use for arm candy. A group of teenagers from my church youth group were rendezvousing at a local park to go “ice blocking” (where you sit your bottom on a block of ice and slide down a grassy hill, emulating sledding… one crazy thing teenagers do). As we gathered in the parking lot, a boy in the youth group named Jordan pulled me aside and gave me a secret piece of information that would change my life forever. Behind his car, where we wouldn’t be heard, he said below his breathe “Matt Haverland likes you”.
“Matt Haverland? Likes ME? No way.”
“Yeah he does. He told me last night at a sleepover. He likes you”. I stopped and thought. Suddenly flashbacks came pouring into my head. I saw images of us in the past year standing in groups, and Matt would be there with his hands in his pockets glancing over at me shyly… always laughing at whatever I said… always ending up in a seat next to me. I gasped as everything came together like puzzle pieces and at that moment made total sense- he DID like me! Little did I know how eternally grateful I would be to Jordan for betraying his friend’s confidence and revealing the truth to me.
Then panic set in… At that very moment, I knew at least two other girls who had their eye on Matt. I knew this because they had told me. If I was going to land this deal, I would have to spring into action quickly, and there would be competition that I would have to overcome. That night at the park, Matt told everyone that he had lost his keys somewhere in the grass. Perfect opportunity. When others continued ice blocking and what not, I stuck by his side, searching for the keys. This would definitely get me the points I needed. It turned out that his keys were actually locked in his car, but I don’t remember what happened after that.

Chapter Two: He held my hand

Fast forward a week or so. We were on a youth group retreat at a ranch out in the country. It was tight quarters with 30 or so teenagers in one tiny ranch house (a situation I would be disgusted by today). This was the perfect excuse for having to be in closer proximity than normal. Ten teenagers can easily squeeze onto one sofa- and of course I would be sitting next to Matt, which meant that our hips would be squeezed together and sometimes our elbows would touch. I was oblivious to anything else going on in the room. All I could think about was the heat that came from his arm and how the tiny hairs on his arm would sometimes touch my arm and ohhhhh, it was so exciting!!!
Then one night, as was tradition, the youth made a trip to the corn silos. There we would enter through the opening on the roof of the silo and dive into a gigantic pool of dry corn, and frolic, swim and play in the corn. In the pitch darkness, I was immersed up to my neck in corn, when I felt something warm touch my hand- it was another hand. Then it clutched my hand our finger interlaced- the most intimate way to hold a hand- and it kept holding. I knew whose hand it was. My heart could have pounded out of my chest it was so exhilarating. Hand holding was a definite sign that the deal was sealed- that deal being that we were “going out”.

Chapter Three: Score

After that things got even more serious- he asked me to go to one of his soccer games. He was the goal keeper for his school varsity soccer team, which means he was a total jock. This called for another moment of panic. I couldn’t just show up alone- I wasn’t that confident- but I definitely had to be there, lest any OTHER girls show up and take over MY territory. So I called up my super confident friend Christine (I was hoping that by gluing myself to her, I could be just as confident) and said, “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Matt asked me"
“wait, what Matt?”
“Matt Haverland”
“oh that Matt”
“ok yeah anyways, he asked me to come to his soccer game, and I think he really really likes me cause he held my hand once, and I like, really think I should go, but I can’t go alone. Will you please please please come with me after school tomorrow!?!”
“yeah, sure whatever”. I was relieved…. until I showed up at school the next day. I saw Christine from all the way down the hallway- everyone did. She was wearing a fluorescent yellow suit. Full suit- pants, jacket, lapel, tie, everything. “CHRISTINE?! Are you wearing that to the soccer game after school?!!!”
“Yeah, why not?” Ok… so maybe asking my MOST confident friend wasn’t the best idea.
As we showed up to the soccer field I stalled about getting out of the car. She was like “come on!” and I was like, “Let’s just walk slowly”, but she practically skipped up to the soccer field where my studly man was playing, and she was completely oblivious to the fact that I was mortified. I’m sure he could hardly even watch the ball with the glare of that yellow suite on the sidelines. I was so embarrassed and tried to distance myself from her, but she stuck right with me, and cheered, loud. This was sure to ruin any chances I had with the guy.
But no… after the game, to my surprise, he actually invited the two of us back to his house for dinner! Me and Miss. Banana suit. SCORE! When we showed up to his house, he introduced me to his family, and then immediately became glued to the TV alongside his dad. They were watching America’s Funniest Home Videos…. And laughing hysterically- like seriously laughing their heads off like they’d never seen anything funnier. I thought “holy cow, what a dork! Does this guy not have ANY dignity?!” UNSCORE! I decided that I probably wouldn’t be with him much longer.

Chapter Four: The Date

Ok, so the thing finally became official when he asked me out on a date. I forget if it was over the phone, or in person, or through texting (oh wait, there was no texting). But I was extremely nervous and excited. My mom stood at the window upstairs as I stood in the room behind her, with no pants on. The plan was, as she saw him getting out of his car, she would call to me what he was wearing, and then I would know whether to put on a skirt or jeans. “He’s wearing shorts!” she yelled. I quickly pulled on my jeans and then ran downstairs. As we got into his car, he said “we’re going to Quinzo’s!”. Ok… he wore shorts, and we’re going to Quizno’s?! I was a little ticked, because I had sources that had informed me that the last girl he took on a date got to go to Macaroni Grill and he wore kaki pants. What-ev-er, I didn’t care… I mean, the guy laughs at America’s Funniest Home Videos- he can’t be that great of a catch, right?
That night, after our date we went on a walk down town. Along our walk we stopped in the courtyard of a fancy catholic church and sat down on a bench that overlooked a little fountain with a larger than life Virgin Mary statue that stood in the middle. We sat with our hands lying on the bench next to each other… but not touching. At one instant I think our pinkies touched, and my heart jumped, but then we both quickly pulled our hands away. Sitting there, with the virgin looking down on us, she must have said a prayer of blessing. She said “dear baby Jesus, may this cute little couple stay together forever!” Then, Matt walked me home and said goodbye- no kiss, not even any hand holding. Pfff…. I didn’t care!!! “I’m not gonna stick with him much longer anyways” I thought.

Chapter Five: The First Kiss

A couple days later I invited all my bffs over to watch a movie- James and the Giant Peach (a really great flick!). It turned out that the only person to show up was… Matt. So the two of us awkwardly sat on the couch and watched it together. As the credits rolled I was overcome with lust, and asked him to kiss me. He said “Ok” and proceeded. As we sat there making out (and listening carefully for incoming parents), I decided I really liked him. The way he kissed was way different than the last guy. He was gentle and slow, and he put his hand on the back of my head ever so softly, and I really liked it. The last guy (the only other guy I had ever kissed) kind of chomped when he kissed me- and he would rub his tongue on the roof of my mouth over and over again, until the roof of my mouth hurt, and as he would pull his head away, he would scrape his taste buds along the backside of my teeth. But I knew no different, and I was fourteen whole years old then, and was just glad to actually FINALLY be kissing a boy at all! But Matt was different- when he kissed me he treated me like I was fragile. When it was time for him to go home, we walked to the front door, periodically stopping to make out some more, because we had both realized that we really liked doing that a lot and didn’t want to have to ever stop. Kiss at the front door, kiss on the threshold, one more kiss outside, one more on the side walk, then at the gate, and then at the car….
As I watched his car drive off into the distance, I made a fateful decision… I decided that I would, in fact, stick this one out and see what happens. I was in love.

Chapter Six: The Rest of the Story

After this point in the relationship, things got increasingly more complex. We ended up journeying down a winding road that brought us to the point we are at today. The road had a few dysfunctional bumps and a few dark patches, but as the song says “God blessed the broken road”, and I can’t wait to see where else the road will take us!

It’s hard to believe we are the same two kids that fell in love that summer eleven years ago. I don’t get butterfly feelings anymore, nor do I get lightheaded and giddy. But I do have a feeling of security, ease and true love. I also have a best friend that I am pretty sure will be there for me in the most dire circumstances. Some things haven’t changed, though. I still find him glued to the TV watching American's Funniest Videos, laughing hysterically, except now he isn’t sitting next to his dad- he’s sitting next to his son. They both roll on the floor laughing… and I roll my eyes and think, “Those guys are dorks!”

Happy Anniversary Matt! If you are late home from work, I won’t worry. I will know that you stopped by the grocery store to pick up a card and flowers.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Well, What-do-ya-know,
Wicked Wednesday Alwedy Went Away!

Who the heck was I kidding when I thought I could post something regular on a weekly bases?! I'm not that responsible! I mean, the alliteration is really fun, and all- I love putting a lot of W words together, but Wicked Wednesdays isn't for me.... I'm not making any more promises about this blog. You get what you get, but don't expect anything. As far as anyone knows, each of my posts could be my last!
Below is Chris, doing some kindof a trick on the ramp he painted on Tuesday. Chris is a competative skater who agreed that his signature was worth too much money to actually sign the ramp.
What I've been learning from this experience is that teenage boys have an inate desire to graffiti. They appreciate my airbrush, because otherwise they would have to resort to more primitive tools like spray paint cans. I've also learned that teenage boys stink- every single one of them. However, occasionally they have good taste in music... or maybe I have bad taste in music.

Oh... "zero" is a wicked skate brand, so I am told.