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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

MLK Day Dr. Sketchy's- Man, oh man.

January Dr. Sketchy's was a special treat. The model this month was one delicious hunk of finely chiseled chocolate, named Sin Jyn. This drawing session also coincidentally landed on Martin Luther King Day, reminding us that racial integration is one really great thing- especially for artists.




Sin Jyn was pretty talented. For the ten minute pose, someone jokingly shouted out, "do a head stand!". To everyone's surprise, he actually took on the challenge. You could see every muscle in his arms quivering, putting us all on edge. He made it over five minutes... talk about a head rush!




The Dr. Sketchy's tradition always includes one random combined adjective and noun which the artists must somehow incorporate into their sketch of the model. The word this time was "fluffy flower". I decided to add some flowers to Sin Jyn's fluffiest asset. He wasn't too thrilled with my creativity and said, "Oh no you did NOT!" So, for the final pose, I added a more manly phrase to the drawing...

Monday, January 21, 2008

Speaking of Heroes...
With a Freshness Guarantee.

<---This is Mrs. J Fresh, aka Jolleen, the freshest girl in Colorado. She alone makes Colorado worth moving to (even if your not moving from Utah). Mrs. J Fresh turned 30 on Saturday, making 30s not look so unfresh, as I had originally thought they were.

This is me, wearing my airbrushed rendition of Mrs. J Fresh, which doesn't do her justice since my portrait of her isn't nearly as fresh as her fresh self is. But notice her totally fresh slogan,"peace homie", something she has often said to me.

This is me and Mrs. J Fresh and Mrs. J Fresh's super fresh husband, Odie at her super fresh 30th birthday party. I am wishing that I could be as fresh as them. Maybe by the time I am 30 I will be that fresh.



This is Rocket at Mrs. J Fresh's fresh party. I made him ride the carousel, because I thought that carousel's are super fresh. He didn't. He wouldn't even sit on a horse. For a little boy that I can't get OFF of the penny ponie at the grocery store, I would have thought that the carousel would have seemed totally fresh. Odie told me that carousels are rides for pink shirt boys. Rocket thought it was very unfresh. Probably because there was way fresher stuff to do like bumper cars and pirate ships and canons.




Rocket is thinking "now this is what I call fresh!"


Next time I see Mrs. J Fresh, I am going to take our friendship to the next level. I am going to ask her what "fresh" means.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Clyde-Painter of Women This is Clyde, painter of women (I gave him that title). He is a real artist- the kind of artist with a real studio, located in the sketchiest part of town (where I am lucky I didn't get mugged), and who paints, and ONLY paints, and ONLY paints every day, all day- because he is a real artist. He's the kind of artist that is sometimes homeless, hopes his paintings will sell so that he can eat, and wears jeans that are lined with flannel. He's my hero. I wish I could be an artist like that... but I'm glad I'm not.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Deliciously Deceptive

My favorite book of the year is “Delicously Deceptive”, a cookbook that trains moms and wives (like me) to trick their family into being healthy. The program requires you to begin the week by pureeing healthy vegetables and then separating them into baggies that you will then underhandedly sneak into your family’s favorite dishes. Bean burritos with cauliflower, mac and cheese with squash, even brownies with spinach. It’s kindof like commercials that can brainwash you with subliminal messages- except it’s with food. You’d be surprised- no one has caught on to my conniving ways yet. No one has suspected that their food has been laced, and no one thinks that the reason we are all turning orange is because we have eaten enough carotene to feed a whole bunny rabbit farm. They actually believe that we are descendents of Oompa Loompas. I love being an evil mischievous housewife. Being deceptive is, indeed, delicious! Muahhhhahahahaaaa.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Every Single Country In the Whole Wide World


This is a project I started months ago. It is in my living room. I had hoped to have it finished by now, but, as you can see, it is moving quite slowly. I didn't anticipate the complexity and time that it would take to get every single country in the entire world painted on my wall. In fact, while I was painting Africa, I realized that I had left a country out- a weeny of a country (Sierra Leone)- but still a country. And if I never fixed my error, chances are no one would notice, but it bothers me. I keep imaging what significance Sierra Leone is to somebody. There is someone out there that knows nothing other than Sierra Leone, and there is someone who is running for president of Sierra Leone, and there is someone who is dying in Sierra Leone, and someone falling in love in Sierra Leone, etc. The whole painting is frustrating because I am continually having to make judgements about what to include and what to leave out- because inside of the every bay, there is a inlet and inside that inlet there is a peninsula and inside that peninsula there is cove and so on and so on. I imagine that the head of one bristle on my paint brush is like one footprint on the earth, but even then, the bristle is too large to represent how tiny a person is on the earth. And even though the earth makes people seem so tiny, I know the truth about how large a tiny person's life can be, and a single undulation of the line that separates the land from the water can hold so much significance to one itsy bitsy person. The earth is so full of significance that I could never possibly represent all on one wall- but I still want to.


If I ever so happen to complete the painting, I will post a new picture of the completed map. Until then, imagine me laboring over it day and night.