Successful Morning...

You know why this "universal health care" plan could never work? Because there would be no way of telling who really has mental health problems and who doesn't. Anyone can SAY they have anxiety. But how can a doctors office know for certain that someone is about to go over the edge? Easy- with a 25 page printable questionnaire, due the morning of the appointment, that requires them to answer confusing questions about their history, their primary care something or another, and then requires them to perform detailed tasks involving calling their insurance company- who knows WHICH number on the card they are really supposed to call... it's all part of the trick though. And the insurance companies are in on the trick. Because when you call the "mental health services" number on the back of your card like I THINK you are supposed to, they give you a maze of options and numbers to press... "if you are a provider press one"... well, am I a provider? Yes, I think I am... wrong. Ofcourse it never says, "if all of these options are giving you a panic attack, please press 3"... After 25 pages of these sorts of confusing questions or tasks, the true mental health patients will be clearly separated from the fakers and drama queens. If I had calmly marched into the doctors office this morning on time with my 25 page packet completely filled out, and set it down in front of the receptionist, she would have smiled and said "thank you" and then proceeded to put a check inside the "faker" box that she would hand to the doctor. Then the doctor would prescribe me placebo and collect their money for their services. But, of course, I am legit, and I passed the test! Yaaaaay! I passed! I didn't have it all filled out! I got confused... I didn't call the right number and when the recording gave me the run around, I didn't remain calm! SO the receptionist knew I was for real, so she proceeded to RESCHEDULE my appointment for tomorrow. So then I left. This means things are going well.

BUT since I was in the area, I decided that I should try to be a nice loving wife- I had absolutely no time to be a good wife this summer with the kids out of school, but now with them in school, I am expected to do nice things for my husband. So I stopped by the grocery store and picked up a package of Matt's favorite cookies, and then drove over to his office. I called him from my cell phone in the parking lot and said "hey I was in the area, wanna come out for a quickie?"
And he said "UMM... NO!!"
And so then I was like "I said a COOKIE!!"
And then he was like "Oh, ok I'll be right out". So I waited by my van until I saw him come out the door, and then we started walking across the parking lot towards each other. But then suddenly he stopped and yelled "NO!"
And I was like "what?!"
And he calls out "NO! I don't want those cookies! They are disgusting!"
... and I was confused and said "but these are your favorite kind!"
And he called back, "no those are Safeway brand! I only like King Soopers brand!"
Well fine. Luckily, I had left my van door open, so I chucked them across the parking lot back into the van. And then I said "well this is the last time I bring you a treat at work."
And he said, "what?! You're so mean!!"
And I said, "Oh really? I'M so mean? Do you really think that's what people think of wives that bring their husbands cookies at work?"
So he said "I don't know... why don't you go BLOG about it!".
So I did.

This is how successful days begin. When your kids are in school, you have time for things like this. I successfully passed the mental health fakers test at the doctors office. And I successfully passed the "do you love your husband enough to bring him cookies at work even if they're the wrong kind, because it's the thought that counts" test. Onward to even more successes now!!

Disclaimer I am sure Matt will want me to make: I may have left some minor details out of the cookie story.