A Trip To Baltimore

I can't believe two weeks have past since I went to Baltimore! It was a fantastic trip- a true adventure. I don't think I'd ever been to the east coast before except for Florida, if that counts. Meeting with Jason went better than I could have expected, and I am so inspired to start painting him from the photos that I took. The only problem is that I have an unfinished project that is due in a couple of weeks, and needs time to dry since I did it in oils (oil paint doesn't allow for procrastination).

The week before the trip I worked on this banner:
I gave it to Jason as a way to thank him for helping me with my artwork. He is going to use it at tattoo and body modification conventions that he participates in. It's about 7 feet long.

Jason showed Luke and I around downtown Baltimore and the harbor area, which was fantastic because I was able to take pictures and get a tour of the city at the same time. We also got to talk a lot as we walked, which I really enjoyed because before going down there, he knew I wanted to take pictures of him, but there was no guarantee that he would want to share anything with me, or even be friendly for that matter. But getting to hear his take on unique bodies and deformation was really fascinating for me, even if it didn't really play into the art I would create from it. It was encouraging to hear from someone who sees things the same way I do. At one time he said something like, "I don't really need to paint, because I am a walking piece of artwork". Uh, yeah- like a really freakin awesome piece of artwork!!


This is just kindof funny. We walked by a store that had a group of model penguins in the window. He yelled out "My family!!!", because his stage name when he performs is "penguin boy". I do believe he enjoys making a scene.


Other highlights of our trip: I made sure to try out some Baltimore crab cakes (which I wasn't impressed with). I found a Goodwill (I try to do that when I go out of town), and got a new pair of shoes. Luke found an Asian market and bought us some "Hello Panda" cookies, which brought back childhood memories from living in Hong Kong. Oh man, they're so good.

Also, during a layover in the airport, we saw a lady with a custom made suitcase with what appeared to be a picture of her grandchild on it. Luke and I brainstormed about random images we could have made into a custom suitcase that would make people scratch their heads when they saw us walking through an airport with it. I think our best idea was a picture of penguin boy.

Stay tuned for paintings of Jason! But first, I have to finish a painting of a shrimp.... which seems torturously boring in comparison.

Some Videos of Roxanne

Dancing to her theme song:




We haven't actually explained the lyrics of the song to her yet... but she hasn't asked yet either.

And, the most lovely singer in the whole world:





Also a pic. She lost one of her front teeth the other night (with a little trick she called "string tied to the tooth and to the doggy). And, she also got glasses a while back.

My iphone actually takes some pretty great pics I think.

Roxy Snickers During Prayer Time

I am making minimal efforts to keep this blog alive. I apologize. One reason I am so unmotivated is because I think I let it die so much that no one is really expecting much from it anymore. But I would like to be able to publish it one day for my own records, and at that time I intend to fill in all the blanks I have been leaving out... probably just with pictures though.

This is my latest painting. It is Roxanne. I absolutely love this little michevious smile I see from her so often. Although I painted it from a photo of her, I added the church scene myself. This is her take on the painting:

"everyone is supposed to be praying, but I am thinking about brownies or something."

Ofcourse, the painting is also very much a self-portrait... but I like to represent myself with her cute little face instead of my not-as-cute face. I feel like I am often times not taking things seriously the way everyone else thinks I should be (especially in a religious setting), and yet, I am still the one getting the blessing (represented with the light rays coming from the stained glass window). And that's why I love grace. Although sometimes I think I am pushing my luck with it.

I started this painting after the painting of Caddy, thinking that I might as well keep busy painting the ones I love while I wait for what I REALLY love to paint to come along. And well, it has come along! On the 19th, I am going to be going to Baltimore with my brother, Luke, to meet and photograph someone that I can not WAIT to paint!!! I am so excited about this, and feel like my life has reached such a perfect place where I am finally getting to do what I love, but haven't been recognized or finished the journey so that there is still so much exciting unknowns ahead. I am so excited to see where this road takes me.

Mostly I am so thankful for people in my life, like Matt, my brother, my kids, my parents, Jodi, and others who have been atleast SLIGHTLY open minded to my ideas, even though they might sound really really strange. I know they're skeptical, but they're giving me a chance and I hope I'm not insane!

Caddy At the Club

Perhaps I ended my last post with a deceivingly promising cliff hanger. The truth is (and unfortunately so) that I am probably one of the only ones who will be super excited about this. As you can see, Caddy, the man who graciously modeled for the above painting, has two deformed arms. In case you don’t already know (and anyone who knows me very well at all, already does know), there’s not much that I am more passionate about than deformities. I think deformities are a rare and beautiful thing. However, the fact that they are rare seems to work against me, since it is uncommon to meet someone with deformities, and even rarer that they would be willing to let me paint them. That is why Caddy is a dream come true for me.

As I have said before, reading “One of Us” by Alice Dreger sent me on an artistic journey and inspired a train of thought that motivates a lot of what I do today. Also contributing to my fascination, about a year ago, I read “My Life in My Hands” by Alison Lapper, an incredible woman who has no arms and no legs but does have an artist heart that seems to be almost identical to my own. In the next paragraph, I am going to paste an excerpt from her autobiography that expresses my ideas concerning art. However, I want to preface it by saying that when she says “disabled people” or “impaired forms”. I, personally would replace these words with “deformities” or, as my dad has suggested, “six sigma humanity”. I say this because while deformities often are, in fact, disabling, there is also many cases in which they are not (Caddy in particular seemed considerably “able-bodied”to me). Also, referring to the people as “disabled” seems to focus more on the functionality and limitations of the conditions, as apposed to the aesthetic beauty of it. However, I wouldn’t want to ignore or deny the limiting aspect of the conditions, it’s just that that is not where my interest lies, as an artist. The question posed by the book “One of Us” is, “Can something be beautiful and painful at the same time?”. And I would answer that with “absolutely yes”. In fact, some of the most beautiful things and experiences in life are accompanied with pain (ie childbirth, a difficult piece of artwork, etc). I enjoy seeing the beauty- the silver lining- in these cases that may have endured a lot of pain as well. Another reason I am not inclined to say “disabled” is because it is a very relative term, that really depends on a person’s circumstances (someone might be disabled in one environment or with some challenges, but not in another). Anyways, I just wanted to explain my qualms with the terminology that is used in the book, but, essentially, the idea of this quote really reflects my feelings about the deformed person in art:

“Once again, it made me question the whole concept of the debate in society about disability. I have the impression that the able-bodied majority just can’t be bothered with it. They aren’t interested in exploring the issues or seeing the aesthetic beauty that may lie in the depictions of impaired forms. If we walk along the beach and find a stone with a hole in it, we don’t look at it with revulsion simply because most other stones don’t have holes in them. In fact, we may be entranced by the variety of shape that the stone with the hole has brought to our attention. However we don’t respond in that way to the human form when it varies too much from the accepted norm.”

For that reason, I see deformed people as extraordinary gems. I got to paint “Little Miss Firefly” about a year ago. Then I painted the conjoined twins, but I didn’t actually have a model for that painting. Caddy is my second deformed model, but I am praying for many more to come my way. It might take me a lifetime, but I’d like to complete this series with quite an array of different deformities. If you’ve got the kind of connections I need, please pass them along to me. I’ll be eternal grateful!

(Little Miss Religianity)

Ponders in her Room

In December my first "Little Miss Religianity painting sold at a fabulous art show, that I was so excited to be a part of. Since then, I've really missed Miss. Religianity. She was hanging in my living room, and I had grown attatched to her- more so than I realized until she was gone. So, I decided to try to recreate her, in my newest painting of her pondering in her bedroom. To tell you the truth, I don't like her as much as the first one. I won't point out why.

The painting contains a lot of inspiration from Roxanne, who is herself somewhat of a Little Miss Religianity. She helped me out by creating the drawings that are in the background, and I duplicated them into the painting. She also has a vase on her desk, in which I often find random combinations of items- sortof like the meaningless combo of a naked barbie, a straw and pencil. Contrary to how it might appear, the painting doesn't really make a statement about religion. It's just an image of a child, too young to understand doctrine, but still engaging in spirituality. Honestly, it might be more of a metaphoric self portrait of myself more than anyone else.

On another note, my art experience since moving to Denver has been made up of chain connections. I like to trace each connection I've made back to it's original source and then imagine how different everything would be had I not said "hi" to one person, and thus not set off a long chain of other connections. For example, I met Kyle Banister at Dr. Sketchies. Kyle had me in the baseball art show, where I met Eric Matelski, who had me in the 13 Lumens show, where I sold my artwork to Laurie Maves, who later introduced me to Caddy Cadwell, who is about to make my life's biggest dream come true! To be continued.....

My Eyeball

I went to the eye doctor this morning, and this is a picture of my the back of my eye ball (looking through my pupil). I can't wait to show the kids. They're gonna be so jealous.

A Better Decade

This post is three to fours days late, because it is about celebrating new years. Bringing in 2010 was pretty uneventful. At first I felt pretty sad about it, because I had been thinking about how we had brought in 2009- with a group of friends, playing board games, eating haystacks (yum!), laughing, and just having fun. This year wasn't like that... none of those people are our friends anymore, for various unfortunate reasons, that I won't go into here- I don't want to break down and cry in front of you guys. It's not a pretty sight. Man, how things can change within the course of a year!

But, we DID have our time capsule to look forward to opening this year. On New Years Eve 1999, I was really determined to put together a time capsule. I think I had to coerce Matt into participating with me. So, we were both 18, freshmen in college, had been redating for a couple months ("re", since we had broken up the summer between highschool and college). We assembled the capsule at my parents house, before spending the evening with his parents to see in Y2K. We put everything inside a pretty blue bottle, that we have toted around with us through 6 moves, over the past ten years. As we broke it open the other night we discovered that besides a whole bunch of pictures that we took with my webcam, we also wrote notes to each other, or rather, the eachothers of the future, that we didn't know very well yet.

Here are some highlights from Matt's letter to me:
"Ten years from now, I hope that me and Nomi are married" CHECK!
"I should graduate from CSM" CHECK!
"In ten years I plan to be living anywhere but Colorado" unCHECK!

Here are some highlights from my letter to Matt:
"I hope Y2K doesn't destroy the world"
"I wonder if we will be together in ten years?"
"I can't wait to kiss you at midnight!"

Those were just the excerpts that neither Matt or I were too embarressed to post. Other things were almost painful to read, as we realized how stupid we were, or how naive we were, or how needy and dependant we were. Since then, we've moved 10 times, created two people, transformed who we are, changed our mind about our core values, and accumulated a lot of stuff. In light of the traumatic transformations we've endured over the past ten years, it makes the changes that have occured over the past one year seem insignicant. Even so, damaged and failed friendships still seem to hit me like a gigantic blow to the stomach. But atleast now I know I am strong enough to recover, move on, and work towards positively impacting my future, and other people's future. Ten years ago, I couldn't have said that. Ten years ago, what was important was getting a kiss at midnight from the boy I was obsessed with- which I think I got. This year, we were in bed an hour before midnight- which is really really late! But I think I still got a kiss.

May this decade be better than the last!